| The Maidzilla Test: Are You A Bad Bridesmaid? What's Really Going On? Tips on Diffusing a Maidzilla |
| Are you a Maidzilla? A bad bridesmaid? A Maidzilla is a BAD bridesmaid. A Maidzilla mob is a group of bad bridesmaids. She's ticked off about something and everyone knows it. She's not used to sharing the spotlight. It should be all about her, but this person called the bride is getting all the attention. She's spending a lot of money, and she's not happy. Could you be a maidzilla? Take the test below to find out! |
| The Maidzilla test: Are you constantly complaining to the bride about the wedding? Do you dislike the groom? Have you told her? Do you hate the bridesmaid dress? Did you hold up the entire wedding party because you "just couldn't get around to order your dress"? Do you hate the color of the dress? Have you told everyone you'll never wear this ugly dress again? Have you complained about the price of the dress? Are you ticked off at the size of your dress you've had to order? Are you upset you have to pay for alterations? Are you angry that you've had to buy shoes or a bra for the dress? Have you complained or caused a scene about the price, color, size you need to order or cost of alterations, etc. in the bridal salon? Does the bridal salon staff hide when you come into the store? Has the bridal salon had to call the bride regarding your behavior or not showing up for appointments? Is the bride apologizing for your behavior? Have you argued with the bride over any aspect of her wedding? Have you threatened to back out of the wedding? Has the bride had to pay for some of your personal expenses related to her wedding? Have you told friends you dislike the bride's dress, wedding theme, etc? Are you angry or refusing to take part in the wedding shower for the bride? Have you told people that you don't know WHY she NEEDS a bridal shower because they've been living together and already have household items? Are you angry about or refusing to take part in the bachelorette party? Are you upset that you aren't in charge of planning the shower or bachelorette party? Are you constantly complaining about your personal wedding expenses while carrying an authentic designer handbag? Have you told the bride that you REFUSE to have your hair or makeup done unless you approve the person doing it? Have you told the bride you refuse to get your hair or makeup done unless it suits your schedule? Do you expect the bride to pay for your hair, nails and makeup? Are you avoiding helping the bride with wedding tasks? Has the bride, her mother or her fiance spoken to you about your behavior? Have you complained about the groomsman who is your partner in the wedding? Do you think you should have been paired with someone "hotter"? Next question is based on whether you are married or single: * If you are married: Do you constantly talk about your wedding and how you did things and how much better it was than this wedding? * If you are single: Do you constantly talk about how much better your wedding will be..and how the bride "stole" your ideas? Scoring: For each yes, its one point. 7 points and under: You're a normal bridesmaid. You probably dislike the dress and probably won't ever wear it again. But, you're a good friend and that's what good friends do...wear the dress and smile. When its your turn to be the bride you'll get to pick what THEY wear. ;) You realize its an honor to be asked to be in the wedding and you are happy to oblige with a minimum of grumbling. 8 to 15 points: Mini Maidzilla in the making. You aren't happy about this wedding and can't keep it bottled up inside all the time. Maybe complaining is just in your nature. Maybe you think your friend is making a mistake and you are afraid to save her. Maybe you are a bit in love with her fiance, can't understand how she got so lucky and are jealous. Whatever the reason, take a chill pill and be happy for the bride. 16 points and above: Full blown Maidzilla. Everything in life SHOULD be about you and you hate to share the spotlight with the bride. You feel that the bride doesn't deserve all this attention. Jealousy oozes out of every one of your pores. You are a bad friend. Don't be surprized if the bride and groom and some of your friends never speak to you after the wedding. You need a serious attitude adjustment. The wedding is going to happen regardless of your feelings. Either be a part of it or bow out before you lose all sense of dignity. If you've got the title, you may as well get the tee shirt. Visit the Weddingzilla Tee shirt shop for humorous wedding tees. What's really going on: * The bridesmaid has an underlying problem affecting her behavior. She may be jealous of all the attention focused on the bride. She may have financial problems. She may have problems with her self image as to how she looks in the dress. She may have problems with her own love life. She may wish it was her her wedding. * She has no desire to participate in the wedding. She may have said yes to the invitation when she really wanted to say no. * She cannot afford all the extras heaped upon her by the bride. She may be financially strapped and can't afford to host the shower and buy a nice gift for the bride. Ditto for the bachelorette party. Her financial situation may have changed since she agreed to be in the wedding, loss of job, etc. * You may not be "good enough" for her brother. She just may not like you and she doesn't want you to take her brother "away" from her. This comes into play when you are forced to have her in the wedding and she knows it. Brides: How to diffuse a Maidzilla: Take the maid aside and have a long heart to heart talk. She may just feel you are so caught up in your wedding plans that your friendship is suffering. Take her to lunch in a public place, just the two of you. People are less apt to create a scene in a public place. Do not use this as a time to talk nonstop about yourself and your wedding! This is about HER! Begin by asking her questions about her life and what she's been doing. Then nicely bring up that you've noticed she's been having problems with your wedding and ask her if she'd like to discuss it with you. This is your time to find out the underlying problem and offer solutions to solve the problem. If its financial, let her know you don't expect a gift and you appreciate all she's done financially during a difficult time. DO NOT make further demands on her financially. Does it really matter if the maids have matching hairdo's? Offer to help pay for some of her expenses if necessary. If she is that good of a friend, she'll appreciate your concern for her situation. She'll either accept or decline the help. Either way, she'll know you are a true friend. If her problem is self image, offer to help her shop for undergarments or anything that will help her feel better about herself. Tell her she looks great and you WANT her by your side when you get married. Treat her to a spa day or a manicure. If her problem is her love life, reassure her that her day will come. Comiserate with her. Offer to introduce her to some of the groom's friend at the wedding festivities. I've found from my 30 years in the bridal business that a lot of brides meet their fiances at a friend's wedding reception. If she's the groom's sister, schedule time to get to know each other. Learn to be her friend, she could be your greatest ally and lifelong friend. Tell her you understand her feelings about her brother getting married, reassure her you aren't stealing her brother. Let her know how much you love her brother and you are happy to be joining the family. Reassure her that she is always welcome in your home. If you have sisters, include her in your shopping trips, etc. She may just be feeling really left out. If she doesn't want to be in the wedding, cut bait and go fishing. Thank her for her participation and tell her if she wants to drop out you will understand. Better to let her go than to ruin your wedding. I've yet to have a wedding where someone wouldn't step in to help out. You can just have one less bridesmaid. It's OK to have an extra male in the wedding party, most have more men as ushers. If the dresses have been ordered, she is responsible for the cost of the dress if she signed the contract for the dress. The bridal salon will expect payment in full because it was ordered by them in good faith and its not their fault she dropped out. You may offer to pay her balance for her and either resell the dress or have the dress altered to fit someone else who steps in. This is a sticky situation and if handled badly, could spell the end of a friendship. Don't cry, accuse or beg. Accept her decision and move on. In the grand scheme of things, there are more important things in life. Have a happy wedding! |
